This is going to be tricky…
What I’m going to try to communicate here took me a few years to grasp, but it all came in a sudden revelation last week in a session with my coach.
Maybe you’ve heard me say or write the line, “it all belongs,” in a podcast or post. I’ve been a believer in that paradigm for a long time. However, my coach and I were recently playing with the metaphor of wolves in the forest to describe those parts of me that I’ve been working to understand and improve (i.e., the wolves at my heels could be anxiety, anger, etc.). In our session, I made the comment that somehow even the wolves belonged.
And then it hit me. With the kind of power that makes you sit back and exhale.
When I applied “it all belongs” to my wolves metaphor, it was with the mindset of reluctance or annoyance. Maybe like the way we’d agree that roaches or spiders play a role in an ecosystem. Sure, they belong because they’re here after all, but God knows I’d go full Thanos on them if I could. I would never hold the posture of a student towards them, inviting what they may teach versus viewing them as that which must be endured.
Back to the wolves.
What might shift if I saw these parts of me as playing an important and necessary role in the ecosystem of my ongoing learning and growth?
WHOA!
Rather than viewing those darker parts of ourselves as merely “character flaws” or generally that which must be outrun, changed, or hidden, what might we learn if we became something of a student of them, creating space for them to teach us about ourselves, our hopes, our world? What if the wolves belonged? What if they had a purpose?
Told you this would be tricky:)
What shifted for me during that session was something like a move from guilt to grace towards myself. For example, anxiety wasn’t a wolf to be feared, fought, and hopefully defeated. It could tell me what I valued, what (and who) I loved, what I longed and hoped for. It could give me an indication of the moves I need to make for greater work/life harmony. And on and on. Maybe it wasn’t nipping at my heels as much as trying to get my attention.
What about you?
What would shift for you if the wolves in your forest belonged?
What role might they play for you?
Who might you become with this mindset?
